We are free to choose so much more than we imagine or even consider possible. To first turn inward toward self seems a required search for meaning, yet, within this hall of mirrors I found no liberation, only the enmity of my flaws. Flaws that with forgiveness become the wounds of memorial to a former … Continue reading Awakening from a dream
Who am I, where am I found, in my memories and stories, in the grasping narrative of mind. Can I be found in the shifting landscape of the past. Is that man of memory me, can his honesty be relied upon. I think not. He was never really there. This week, I realised and then … Continue reading Intimacy and Flow
Since leaving the island, these last six months have been a challenge. After the openness of endless hours, silently sitting on a rock, mind thoughtless, feeling flowing, waves crashing, wind swishing through the Birchwood and long dead dogs, breathing by my side. How am I to be a person again ? Writing this sentence I … Continue reading Finding Eternity
This morning I felt a sadness, contemplation did not bring any clarity, so with a quiet mind I walked to the sea shore where I sat nestled in a nook, just above the water. There I stayed, sheltered from the wind, hood up, knees against my chest, my bare toes just touching the waves as … Continue reading The Weight of My Heart
“Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen.”– Orhan Pamuk She was six months old when she came into my life. With eyes of the brightest blue and the softest coat of silky grey, she moved like flowing water. Now, years later, with brown eyes and many lumps and bumps and … Continue reading In The High Places Above The World
This place has done its work on me. Isolation cleansed my being and brought me into the vital now. These rust brown hills and crags of bright pink and silver grey, their slow voices can now be heard. In the core of me I felt her whispering, drawing me to her shore. That fathomless presence, … Continue reading The Island Inside
In truth I am not sure I am good, I certainly have lived through much fear and pain, yet I strive to overcome this and to reveal the qualities so easily hidden by the need for protection. Capacity to love, yes. Humility, emerging very quickly. Devotion, yes, in the form of love and compassion, wonder … Continue reading What is Freedom
My boy, my boy, my beautiful boy, so gentle, so pure of heart, so full of joy. My boy now sleeps the longest of sleeps. What I’d give for just one more touch of his silky grey coat against my cheek. One more moment to bury my face in the crook of his neck, to … Continue reading Kai is King
I had ideas of the life that I was prepared to accept, a standard of comfort, an acceptable pace of progress toward goals, requirements for a happy life. In a place that felt like the edge of the world, isolation peeled away the layers of who I thought I was. A rocky windswept wilderness where there … Continue reading Choosing Freedom
Do not fear the solitude of your own thoughts. In your heart and in your soul, in the very core of your being, know that you are loved, you always have been and always will be. Be fearless and flourish in this knowledge. Let it rest, where, in silent moments of reflection it can be … Continue reading You Are Loved
Enough deconstruction, enough looking backward upon that ocean of feeling that is the past. Within that ocean, islands of traumatic memory became the land upon which identity had been built. Those islands of pain were the focus of years of feelings. There, tangled and distorted flotsam lay washed up with the unavoidable jetsam, discarded and … Continue reading Never A Voyeur
Slipping into cool dark waters, finger tips, mapping the grain gently rest upon the edge of a wooden jetty. Tipping my head back, water fills my ears and caresses my eyelids. Below, reaching into the fathomless depths, kicking, I feel nothing but the swirl of current between my toes. Above, silently hang still rivers of … Continue reading Swimming Home
As a young boy I lived in fear. Fear of the dark, fear of spiders, fear of the monsters conjured from the depths of my imagination but most of all the fear that I was not enough, not enough to be loved or even liked. This fear was the basis for all others and … Continue reading Welcome to The World of The Living
Anima 