Is release, no matter the distance crossed nor intensity of emotion timelessly held in knotted muscles and tortured mind. Forgiveness, an answer to the hurt and desperate self protection. The binding thread of grief unwound, my heart no longer aches with the cruel absence of possibility, now, untethered from hope, the bright fullness of being … Continue reading Forgiveness


Loss opened within me a black hole the gravity of which I continually struggled against. Living at the event horizon, barely here at all, I walked and slept at the edge of an abyss, sustained only by the distant golden glow of hope and a will to survive for an unknown future. The loss of … Continue reading Found

Finding Eternity

Since leaving the island, these last six months have been a challenge.  After the openness of endless hours, silently sitting on a rock, mind thoughtless, feeling flowing, waves crashing, wind swishing through the Birchwood and long dead dogs, breathing by my side.  How am I to be a person again ? Writing this sentence I … Continue reading Finding Eternity

The Island Inside

This place has done its work on me.  Isolation cleansed my being and brought me into the vital now.  These rust brown hills and crags of bright pink and silver grey, their slow voices can now be heard. In the core of me I felt her whispering, drawing me to her shore.  That fathomless presence, … Continue reading The Island Inside

What is Freedom

In truth I am not sure I am good, I certainly have lived through much fear and pain, yet I strive to overcome this and to reveal the qualities so easily hidden by the need for protection.  Capacity to love, yes.  Humility, emerging very quickly.  Devotion, yes, in the form of love and compassion, wonder … Continue reading What is Freedom

Choosing Freedom

I had ideas of the life that I was prepared to accept, a standard of comfort, an acceptable pace of progress toward goals, requirements for a happy life. In a place that felt like the edge of the world,  isolation peeled away the layers of who I thought I was.   A rocky windswept wilderness where there … Continue reading Choosing Freedom

You Are Loved

Do not fear the solitude of your own thoughts.  In your heart and in your soul, in the very core of your being, know that you are loved, you always have been and always will be.  Be fearless and flourish in this knowledge.  Let it rest, where, in silent moments of reflection it can be … Continue reading You Are Loved

Never A Voyeur

Enough deconstruction, enough looking backward upon that ocean of feeling that is the past. Within that ocean, islands of traumatic memory became the land upon which identity had been built. Those islands of pain were the focus of years of feelings. There, tangled and distorted flotsam lay washed up with the unavoidable jetsam, discarded and … Continue reading Never A Voyeur

Swimming Home

Slipping into cool dark waters, finger tips, mapping the grain gently rest upon the edge of a wooden jetty. Tipping my head back, water fills my ears and caresses my eyelids. Below, reaching into the fathomless depths, kicking, I feel nothing but the swirl of current between my toes. Above, silently hang still rivers of … Continue reading Swimming Home