Sam Kaye

Call me Sam

Sam is a content creator speaking on trauma and recovery.

He also offers guidance and support for those navigating the process of transformation that we call, healing.

Essays from a time of grief and awakening

Grieving the loss of everything, I found my place

What is breakdown but the world coming to find us, hiding in that realm of illusion only as small as our fear. Breakdown was the breaking of the pattern of self. The pattern that held together ideas, stories and strategies for control, the coping mechanisms that as a child saved me from insanity but become…
The heart of sorrow, the heart of joy

For a while I have struggled to write anything for this blog. I try but what naturally comes out is a retelling of a history of heartbreak and troubles. New words in a different order. Perhaps this is necessary, to express to the point of such familiarity that the attachment to the pain is exhausted.…
Grief

Over the last couple of years, while experiencing intense episodes of grief, I cried the most real tears of my life. I felt like a block of granite being crushed under immense pressure just to squeeze from it the tiniest drop of moisture. I don’t know whether those tears burned so much because of the…
Stillness

Shattering into a million pieces is a painful way to die but what actually dies. We live and die and live again in a different form. All former selves gently held within a new being, a being of acceptance and self compassion. I don’t think the pain of childhood trauma ever goes away but over…
The soul of a child

I remember the loss of my own innocence and the crushing aloneness I felt as a child. The gradual and terrifying acceptance of isolation brought with it the dawning of a dark cynicism, rooted in the broken world I entered. Though moments of beauty pierced the brutal shell of my own self protection, these glimmers…
Becoming The Mystery

The certainty of our own pain becomes the boundary of the known. If we can feel as deeply as possible the essence of our own suffering, we need not fear the unknown. The once terrifying confusion of a broken world has been carried within and for the sake of survival there was a requirement to…